My big triple events in a three week period are now over -- officially over as of last Friday.   I'm trying to figure out how to push the reset button, and how to find it.

I was a big waste Saturday and Sunday, but continued to mainline sugar because the stress was still pulsing through me.  I got on the computer and sent out lots of thank-you notes and links to video, and hoped that I could tie up loose ends quickly.  

But I'm still running to the computer to check for mail every five minutes.  My body is still running in this rushed mode, even though I'm telling myself that I can set my away message now.  Something tells me that this is the way I like to operate -- that I seek it.  

I also know that it's unhealthy and that I need to reign it all way in.  People are pouring on the praise for all the work I did, and I know that some of it is that they really want me to say I'll do it again.  But I can't -- I really do enjoy it, and I can do it where other people can't, but that doesn't mean I should.   

I could say, OK, next time I'll delegate more, I'll just not worry so much about details....all that stuff.  But, at age 60, I'm thinking that next time will be no different.   I'm sure there is a way to still participate, but not lead the whole thing.  I can just hear the persuasion starting....about how we'll give you more help, etc., but I'm going to have to hold firm.  

Maybe this kind of leading is like carbs to me....I crave them, they give me energy, but they hurt me in the long run?  Can I see the whole thing as just a big doughnut dripping with icing?

I'd like to do meaningful work without shouldering so much responsibility -- and have to communicate that.