SPED class

Nothing like a group of kids to kick you in the butt:-) I subbed yesterday as an assistant in a 3-4th grade SPED class. The teacher was great -- Mr. S. -- he had such a calm and nurturing manner, quiet, very respectful...those are some lucky kids. I guess they didn't kick my butt as much as make me feel fortunate -- there they are each day fighting much bigger hurdles than I ever will. If all they had to complain about was gaining a few pounds over the holidays... one little girl from Bangladesh was just so cute -- she hardly speaks any English, had virtually no teeth and had some kind of facial deformity -- but all she could do was smile and yack and engage with Mr. S who was so sweet with her.

First Week of January Funk

Wow, I'm such a mess. I can barely move, all I want to do is eat sugar and sleep. I've been searching for motivation to move, and can't find any. The Christmas decorations are all down and the animals have all found little corners to sleep in and all I can think about doing is making brownies. I've been good about using the SAD light...can only think that I'd be at the bottom of a hole somewhere without it:-) I also went to my fav cardio class today, but no relief. It's not supposed to get above the 30s all week. I tried to meditate, but just fell asleep instead. Somebody please -- kick me in the butt.

Amahl and the Night Visitors

I took Mom to church with me today and we saw Amahl, postponed from a couple of weeks ago when the snow brought everything to a close. I hadn't seen it before, and it was great. Our church has so many talented people who like to perform for us. Mom sat with a friend from The Jefferson and had as good a time as she can have in a church:-) (The hugging your neighbors at the end kind of put her over, but she endured it then escaped).

I finished Her Fearful Symmetry last night -- I enjoyed it -- couldn't be sure where it was going, but it was a fun ride.

Oh my poor heart

Well, after both and Emily and I had long sessions of calling all over the neighborhood, and I had given up, in strutted Neko this evening. He was out for 3 cold days and nights. To me he seems skinny and tired and hungry. He did let me hold him and we had a longer than usual purring session. I can't believe that he has many lives left. I went though all the stages of grief with him, particularly when I was out today looking for him and instead I saw the local fox. We know that the fox's den is pretty close to the place Neko hangs out across the street, and I figured, well, foxes have to eat, etc. Plus, the fox was fast, and big, and I just looked at it and said, well, that's what happened. I'd like to say we'd never let him out again, but I know that he'll sleep for a couple days straight and then yell to do it all over again. And, I'll feel the same way the next time too. But, at least for tonight, he's safe and full (and I hope happy). I guess I'm all those things too:-)

December 31, 2009

The first thing about today's date is that it's Kate's birthday -- yea! As a kid, and maybe as an adult as well, being so close to Christmas seems like a bad day for a birthday, but it will forever be a party day as well, and a big celebration is certainly in order. This evening we're going to Kate and Rob's friends, Brian and Amy's, for a nice party to honor Kate and the New Year.

Kate got me a SAD light for Chrstmas -- 10,000 lumens of joy. I always wondered about these lights, and today is just a great candidate for trying out the effects -- about as grey and dreary as you can get. So, I plugged it in and read for several sittings with the light. I can't see that it hurt at all -- who knows. It's a good light for reading, so I'll certainly use it well.

Our cat, Neko, has been gone now for almost 2 days. He does go away for spells, but never this long. He has a favorite hiding place across the street under a neighbor's back porch, and he almost always comes out if you go over there an shake treats. But, not this time. Maybe he's elsewhere. He spent 5 days inside when we were gone, so maybe this is his little rebellion, but we are worried about him. The weather is cold and wet, but I guess his fur and general bulk will help him there. You always worry that they get caught somehow. He's a pretty good crier when he wants to be found, so I have wandered around calling for him.

When I took Jerry out for a walk today, I thought...jeeze, I need to get to sunshine. But then remembered, we were in sunshine in Florida yesterday -- the effects don't last too long, evidently. Our trip was great -- saw lots of relatives and it was nice that Doug, Richard, and Susan could get together. We all agreed that Minor was doing well and enjoyed his party. Long term questions about Minor's decline and future care didn't come up as much as maybe we'd hoped, but we were able to agree on major points, and were also able to touch base with Melissa's daughter, Jan. Despite a wet start, canoeing with the manatees was a highlight of the trip -- in our canoe, we were able to actually pet them.

For me, 2009 has been a wonderful year. I can't say that it was full of accomplishments (if any kind of list was made, it's now long gone), but I have found a serene and stress-free life that allows me to look forward to each new day. I hope that 2010 is just as good.

Poor Doug

Poor Doug -- yesterday morning I noticed that his voice was several octaves lower than usual, and sure enough, he was sick....again. He was out of work almost a week about a month ago with something that wasn't swine flu, but was nasty. This time he has fever, throat stuff, and doesn't want to eat -- now that tells me this guy is seriously sick. The Michigan loss to Ohio state was just icing on the cake (that he doesn't feel like eating).

Yesterday the girls and I went to Tyson's to do some shopping, and I think we all came away feeling that we'd made some progress. There were crowds, but not as bad as they could have been. I found something for Doug, which is always a relief to me.

On Friday I went to our neighborhood "article group" and Joanne, the hostess, had a woman there who gave us all upper body massages. OMG -- it was so wonderful, but we're mad at her for upping the ante!

I have a recurring dream about a master's thesis that I have to finish on a deadline but just can't. Well, last night I went to visit the professor because I had finished it and wanted to see if I passed -- and I got a C. Then she handed it to me and said she needed a copy, and Doug and I ran from office to office trying to find an open copier that worked. Such a boring dream, but I guess I'm making progress because the paper is finally done and maybe I can move on to more interesting dreams?

In the kitchen

On Saturday I worked the kitchen shift at church during their annual fund-raising auction. They do a big dinner -- cash bar, appetizers, nice meal, dessert for around 200 people. They have the room -- set up tables with nice tablecloths, silverware -- we're not talking plastic and paper here. One of our members is a caterer by profession, and she volunteers for a number of events like these in any given year. I always wanted to work with her. I'd hear about Erica does it this way, or Erica taught me that...she knows a lot about presentation as well as food preparation.

I have to say that I think I worked well with her -- found her pace and kind of fit in. It was pretty ambitious to serve 200 people at the same time. We had volunteers waiting on 2 tables each and taking orders. They had a choice of a vegetarian torte (very beautiful with pumpkin, eggplant, spinach, couscous and more), a pretty chicken roll with sauce, or beef that could be individually ordered for how rare people wanted it. Then there were side dishes on each plate. Erica and I were on the stove side of a long work area, and I sliced chicken into pretty medallions and put it in a little puddle of sauce, and Erica was working the stove with big hunks of beef that were finished with a beautiful currant sauce. Before the event she said she was a little worried about the beef -- how to get everyone what they wanted in a hurry. Luckily she knows her beef -- she was just slicing and grilling and had lots of pieces that needed to be handled all at once. When I wasn't on chicken duty I found a way to help her, and it seemed to work out well. I guess the kitchen did have the flavor of one of these TV shows, and Erica did get animated here and there:-) But I was really impressed with how she could get that many volunteers to work as a team -- she had to teach all of us how to do things.

She called to thank me and said she'd like to work with me again. I have to say, I don't ever want to be a caterer, but I liked that work environment. I liked the fast pace and coordination and problem solving. I think when I finish my Amnesty quilt, I might call and ask if she ever needs extra hands for a job -- I think I'd enjoy doing more of that.

I've finished a couple of books

I listened to J.G. Ballard's Empire of the Sun. It had been on my list of things to read for so long, and I certainly think it's earned all the praise. It was hard to listen to parts of it, and I guess he had some kind of imagery going with the flies because he spared no opportunity to tell us about where flies landed, what they ate...and ate. I started to even hear the buzzing.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith was just brilliant. I was a little disappointed to read the history of it -- seems like someone went looking for a copyright-free book to add zombies to -- my impression is that it didn't arise from a mutual love of the material. Here's what Wikipedia said:

Quirk Books editor Jason Rekulak developed the idea for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies after comparing a list of "popular fanboy characters like ninjas, pirates, zombies and monkeys" with a list of public domain book titles such as War and Peace, Crime and Punishment, and Wuthering Heights.^[4][5] He turned the project over to writer Seth Grahame-Smith.

EW called it a literary mash-up. About 70% of the book is original Austen.

The first line is: “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains will be in want of more brains.”

I certainly know nothing of the zombie literature, but I do believe that putting it together with Pride and Prejudice created something that is much more than the sum of its parts.

I never knew...

Wow, about 5 people have said they'd miss this sorry old blog...I didn't know I had all those lurkers. I had run Google Analytics for a while, but then it messed up and I never bothered to fix it. Well -- I feel so challenged to do a better job now:-)

I don't know that I have any deep thoughts worth imparting. I do think that FaceBook is a fun way to keep in touch with people, but it doesn't replace the complete sentences of a blog. Must be the English major in me....(yes, I noticed that sentence).

Neko and new kitty Miki are not really friends -- Miki likes him a lot, but there is no reciprocity on that point. Neko has taken to spending lots of time outside. We'll have to see what the winter brings. Winter reminds me of Minnesota which reminds me of Richard, and we asked ourselves yesterday, "I wonder what Rich thinks about Bret Farve?" The Green Bay fans made their feelings pretty clear.

I'm feeling extremely unproductive lately. I marvel at how much time you can spend on the everyday tasks of life, and I remember when they were only done in my spare time. When I worked I did those things until I ran out of time, but now that I do have the time, I feel that they should all be completed thoroughly...and they still aren't. I mean, cooking, doing dishes, ironing, laundry -- I do that stuff and the day disappears and I didn't even work 8 hours. I don't have this balance figured out yet. Maybe that's why I'm working part time now -- to justify all the stuff I don't complete! I know people who would have lists and tasks to complete on certain days -- well, that just isn't me, though I've tried that:-)

Moving to Facebook

Well, I think I'm going to move to Facebook here. I realize that I can write more things in depth on the blog, but think that I'll save that for email. If my vast public really objects, I'll reconsider!

I feel all cast about lately, a little lost I guess. Before Kate's wedding I had all kinds of direction, doing things for that. And after I was busy doing all the things I had neglected. Now I'm working for Amnesty -- helped put together a newsletter and a survey, and have 2 quilts to complete for our prisoners. I go to an Arlington Schools sub orientation tomorrow, and after that I'll be all set to start working. I guess there will be lots of choices about when to work, which schools, etc. I think I might get a little more focused if I start to work a few days a week.

For example, I have my whole day free today. When I was working, I could only dream of such a day. And what should I do with this day? Clean? Cleaning is always there, but should I do it? Bake bread? Yes, always a good idea. Do some ironing? Yes, that's always there too. I have the luxury of asking, what would be good for my soul today, what would be good for my family. I feel that I need to do good this day, but I'm frozen by all the choices. I'm also so grateful for all the choices -- not many people get to live this way. It's also a pretty day outside -- jeans and sweatshirt weather -- and I must take that into account because beautiful days have to be acknowledged.

I'm definitely not bored -- I'm amazed by all that life offers and that I'm in a position to experience. I'm totally amazed by the lack of stress in my life -- just about nothing can stress me at the moment. So I think that shows that stress wasn't inherent to me -- because I can see that you could create stress from anything; but I don't - -stress to me was work, and without it, the stress has gone. Everyone should be so fortunate:-)

Well, here I am today. I needed a face shot for some Amnesty publication, so I curled the hair, put on make up, put a decent top on over my gym shorts, found necklace and earrings -- whew -- I don't do this much any more. So, here I am. I look so old -- I don't say this to elicit comments...it just is. Now I'm wondering, will this be my obituary photo? I mean, how many photos do most people have hanging around? As you get older you say things like, will this be my last car, my last washing machine, my last mammogram (oh please, yes), so, will this be my last photo? Well, I guess I'm not all that happy with it -- need to get a better one -- so, this will not be my last photo.

Here's a pic of the main house at Capon Springs -- this is where the game room, library, living room, and dining room is, plus a nice big front porch where everybody hangs out.

OMG -- too funny.

Doug and I just got back from our little 4-day retreat to Capon Springs West Virginia. It was organized by the Arlington UU church, and I guess there were 30 or so people there from the church. It was a beautiful place -- like time-traveling back to the 1950s or so. There were no clocks, radios, tv, phones in our rooms and no cell reception. There was a big screen tv in one area and we watched the new Ken Burns series on the National Parks, and some people watched the Redskins game. The food was from the 50s as well -- white bread, fried chicken, macaroni, spaghetti...they did come through with some decent dark greens for salad so I piled up on that. But, that's not a criticism -- seems to be part of the charm. They have a spa which is about 3 years old and it was the only 21st Century part of the place (however, it had spa elements before with the springs). I had a facial and massage -- both really good. Doug found a golf partner and played all four days, including one day in serious rain. His game was evidently pretty good until the final day. I seriously relaxed, did some reading before naps, watched the sky from a hammock -- all very nice. I took a couple of long walks and went to visit the pigs/cows.

I'm listening to Richard Ford's Independence Day -- had always heard about it. I'm really enjoying it.

Blah

So I woke up with a headache, and after 2 doses of pain reliever, it's still there. So, I'm thinking it's another migraine, but the pain isn't as bad as I know it could be. I have to think it is sugar induced. Yesterday I was just totally focused on sugar -- it was such a craving. It started the day before, and I kept trying to make it go away. Yesterday I tried to talk myself out of it, but couldn't. Since we don't have enough sugar in the house, I finally ran to the grocery for my fix. Then I finished it off with a really sweet orange soda -- that we did have but I never drink those. Then last night I could feel the headache coming, and woke up with it. It feels a lot like a hangover, but already I can see that it's not going away. I wonder if knowing what the sugar does will help me the next time I must have it. I even tried sniffing peppermint oil, which is supposed to help. Oh well -- I don't get a craving like that very often. I've kind of felt that you just have to feed it and move on. But, what causes these? It seems very chemical, rather than emotional. I was like a junkie. I wonder what I could have eaten for the last 2 days that might have helped...like, only protein?

My big summer migraine started after a vacation that included eating too much, more carbs, etc. So, it does make sense that at least for me, they're food induced. I hope this one doesn't last as long as the last one. Maybe I can start to really associate sugar with feeling bad?

Enough about the Claudia/Carb saga. I'm moving slowly, but plan to take more meds and then head off to the AI office to meet with a woman who was a professor in Indonesia with both Filep and Yusak. We've felt that as part of our effort to publicize the case we need to know more about them as people -- so I'm hoping she can help us with that.