Back from Florida

We arrived home from our four-day trip to Fort Myers this afternoon. It would be hard to describe it as a fun trip. Doug's father is having more and more memory problems -- perhaps Alzheimer's, maybe some other dementia, but anyway... It's come on slowly with him, and to me it seems like the personality I've always known just being even more selective about what he wants to pay attention to. He hasn't had a big change in personality at all. He's almost 90, and for the most part, seems pretty happy and healthy. The problem seems to be Melissa. She is upset by the changes she sees and feels very responsible for his care. She is is also nearly 90, and I think she feels exhausted by it. Actually, it doesn't seem to me that he needs that much care -- he needs reminding about things like medicines, but for the most part he's very slow and can't do much. But, she feels very closed in and burdened. She worries about leaving because he might fall, etc. -- actually he gets a kick out of all the times he's fallen -- he just gets back up.

Anyway, we suggested that she try to get away more, to go visit friends, etc., assuring her that she doesn't have to feel that responsible -- if he falls, he falls... She suggested that he come stay with us for a week or so to give her a rest, but then she changed her mind on that. So -- we felt that there wasn't much we could do until she lets us.