Happy New Year.

Yes, we're all settled back into our routines, or getting ready to.  Mom made it home after flying all over Alaska to get here, but is fine except for the cold she picked up along the way (she'd have to after all that time in airplanes).  

December was just a wonderful month for me -- wedding, Christmas, Florida, Kate's birthday -- all rolled into 31 days.  It was probably one of the best months I've ever lived.  It just had it all:  fun with the wedding preparations, celebration, families getting together, going to the beach and soaking in the sun, going to TWO movies (more than most years, it seems), and the only downside was the 7 whole pounds of weight gain:-(  But, I had lots of fun putting that weight on.  I think wedding cake contributed about 3 of them...it was yummy and there was too much left over.

So now we come to the time I've tacked onto the end of my frequent statement:  "After the wedding, I'll...fill in the blank."  January was when I was going to...do lots of things.  Or, think about doing things.  I talked about going back to work in January, but I don't think that's happening unless I just have to.  Not working works for me...somewhat to my surprise.  I'm happy to not be striving every day, to not be selling myself or to keep looking for new solutions....I'm content to just be.  That could be good, or it could be super laziness, I'm not sure and I'm not going to seek an answer.  

I've set a goal for myself of getting to the "healthy" BMI number...and this is my goal for the new year.  The edge of healthy is 24.9, and I'm at 29.2 right now.  The upper edge of healthy would be 154 pounds for me...so I hope to do that by July.  Now that the wedding is over, I want to turn my attention to health...mine and Doug's.  Today Doug and I went to our first yoga class together -- I think he liked it.  I guess this time of year everyone thinks about what they want for the new year, look to positive improvements, and I'm no exception.  I like the clean slate of January.  For most of the country, pitching 2008 can't come soon enough, but it was a transformational year for me...quitting my job, moving and buying/selling our houses and Mom's, the wedding...a year ago I was returning to Riverbend wondering how to do a better job, how to make myself worthy of my salary...and now I can hardly remember all that.  

As an ITRT I never felt worthy...I never felt that I did enough to warrant the position.  Granted, it was difficult and there were lots of reasons why people didn't use me, most of (I think) not personal.  Librarians also have to sell themselves and keep reinventing their jobs, and at JM I  killed myself doing that.  I was at so many school activities, developing new programs every month it seemed; and I think some of that drive left me when I was an ITRT.  It was hard to keep up the selling, the enthusiasm, the push push push.  I think other people can probably do a better job at that than I did at that point in my career.  So, even though I feel there could be lots more for me to do, I don't have any big desire to give it another try.  I hope the ITRTs don't loose their positions in all the crunch, because it's important...and one thing I finally did begin to see was the administrative buy-in that is so necessary.