Hawaii

After talking Mom out of her dream trip to Kenya and Tanzania, we settled on Hawaii for our mother-daughters vacation this year.  

Just two weeks before we left, Mom was in the ER with a displaced hip.  About eight hours later, she basically walked out.  The docs physically got the hip back in place.  Her energy level was amazing for the whole trip!

Julie and Greg picked us up at the Hilo airport after a zillion hours on planes -- greeting us with the most fragrant leis!  Our luggage didn't arrive with us, so Julie got us some clothes and here we are on her beautiful deck.  (Luggage actually was delivered in about two hours -- pretty amazing.)  I still can't quite say where her house is -- there were a number of names, but I think it's Hawaiian Paradise Park.  She and Greg have an acre of land that they have had to hack and clear -- it looks beautiful.  

This photo gives you a look at the house and the land.  They collect water from their roof and in back there's a big tank and filtration system.  Her two cats, Pippen and Max, love their big yard.  I saw one gekko, but didn't get a pic.

Julie and Greg have been having fun planting and experimenting with what will grow in their new paradise.  Here's their banana tree!  They have an avocado explosion and we made a big bowl of guacamole the day we arrived.

On our first full day there, Greg took Mom on a helicopter ride over the island and the volcanos.  She saw hot lava going into the ocean!  Julie and I went to her big farmer's market -- what an explosion of colors and variety.  Here is dragon fruit -- we got a couple to try -- yummy.

Here are some other fruits -- can't remember the names, but we bought some to try.  They're kind of dry and not all that sweet -- interesting and good.

After the market Julie took me for a ride around her part of the big island.  This is MacKenzie State Park, I think.  Very beautiful lava cliffs down to a pounding ocean.  Julie told me all the different names for different kinds of lava.

Below, you might or might not find a little video of the area.

Here's Mom up at the caldera at Volcanos National Park.  The landscape looks like the moon -- desolate with steaming vents as far as you can see.

Julie collected these leaves at her house for us to write messages to Pele -- the goddess of the volcano.  She's a nasty goddess, and it's best to stroke her.  Mom left this message, and we hid it in a lava crack.

Julie and I left messages too.  This was on a pretty road that Julie loves -- you wind through terrain of every possible variety...jungle, dry, total lava....to a nice point that has a great ocean overlook.  However, we had a rainy day and didn't get the view....no problem, there were lots to come!

On our last day we had a great opportunity to swim with sea turtles in Julie's secret tidal pool.  I didn't bring my camera...we were able to get Mom in as well, and there were two smaller turtles in with us.  I tell you what, if I lived there, I'd get myself a little float and just be out there all day.  Later that day Julie took us for another island tour, and we stumbled onto this beach -- how beautiful is this.  Let me say, I didn't spend a lot of time setting this shot up -- they're everywhere!  

Next we headed to Kauai and the Hyatt resort there.  Good job finding a beautiful place, Julie.  Here is a view from our rooms' balcony.  

We rented a car and zipped up to one of the island's highest (and one of the world's wettest) spots for this great view out to the Pacific.  I think we were lucky to have such a clear day.

On our way back to the hotel we stopped by a coffee plantation -- coffee goes all the way to the ocean. We did a lot of tasting and came back with beans to share.

Certainly the highlight of the hotel, for us, was this pool.  Here are Julie and Mom.  It winds around and has a little current to push you -- around every bend you find little waterfalls and grottos and beautiful plantings -- Mom loved it because it took pressure off her hip -- she had a smile the whole time.

Can't leave the hotel without showing you the remote control toilet!  Yep -- warm water and air.  At first I thought, Oh good grief, what now....but by the end...I have to tell you, it makes the whole thing a very relaxing experience!

Mom and I had a little time in Honolulu before our flight home, so we grabbed a cab and visited Pearl Harbor.  Here is Mom looking to the Arizona Memorial (to the right of her head), and the ship to the left of her head (not the big one), is the USS Missouri where the Japanese surrendered in Tokyo Harbor.

It was a great trip -- and we're pretty jealous of Julie.

Sorry to tell you this

In my attempt to relax and de-stress, I decided to try one thing I've never had the opportunity to do -- sleep.  You've seen all the research about the benefits of sleep, and certainly for most of my life, and everyone else's as well, that's been -- "yea, well sometime."  But for me, I can do that now.  

I decided to try and sleep as much as my body wants.  Imagine!  Without alarms, and trying to avoid the feeling of being a lazy degenerate, I'm trying to see what my body needs.  Both my mother and sister seem to be early risers, and Doug as well.  Mom has never slept well, and I'm thinking Julie might be heading that way as well.  

At least so far, that has been no problem for me.  I like the night, and have been staying up as late as I want, though I do still feel like I'm wasting time...basically just puttering around doing nothing, watching too much TV.  I might need to think about using some of that energy more productively, particularly given that I'm sleeping in until 9 or later.  But at least for now, I'm going to try not to judge, but just to observe (oh, how yoga).  

This morning the animals got me up around 6 and I thought, I'm not that tired, I should just get going.  But then I decided to see if I could go back to sleep -- if it happened, then I guess I could still use it.  Then it was 9:30 and I felt so amazingly refreshed.  It's weird to get up and not have that feeling of just wanting more.  

Is this a total lack of discipline?  Is this justification for being a worthless lazy slob?  Oops, there's the judgement, always talking.  I have no idea.  I do know how fortunate I am to even be able to run this little experiment....and I'm very grateful for that.

A picture is worth...

Check out Amy Pohler's short video on being careful about what we watch -- to think about what we want our eyes to see...

Though we talk a lot about how the Internet might affect us, all the time we spend online, gaming, etc., I don't think I've read much about the proliferation of visual imagery.   Surely the ability to store more and more information cheaply has allowed the whole explosion, but particularly images and video.  I can remember when you just couldn't store the stuff -- your machine couldn't possibly hold video, and it would crash when you tried to play it.

But now, just like everything on the Internet, photos and video can be anywhere, taken by anyone.  From a human rights perspective I could argue that that's a good thing -- we've been able to record events that governments would previously have denied.  Photos and video can be proof, right?  They can lead us to truth?  They can also eliminate language barriers in communication.

But I am worried about how to process photos of "terror."  Certainly the Boston pics, and all the other horrific photos back to, well, Vietnam for me, are recording a truth (not talking about the PhotoShop possibilities here).  We know that photos changed the course of the Vietnam War.

But I also think that photos are driving the fear-mongering media in this country -- they fit perfectly into the 24-hour news folks who have to keep filling the screen, who have to keep pumping up the emotional aspects of stories....so they repeat photos and video over and over and over to achieve breathless, don't change the channel programming.  These photos are being used to spread this continuous story of fear -- it's basically pre-plotted and photos for the tragedy of the day will be plugged in.   We have to have particular victims and families we focus on, the bravery stories of a particular person who came to aid,  then the manhunt, if applicable, then we must quickly know why.  At all these points lies start to multiply to fit the story -- like the Columbine "trenchcoat" kids who were bullied by the jocks....all untrue. 

I watched CNN a few times throughout the Boston bombings and I feel brain-damaged.  The combination of photographic media with the breathless, repetitive, fearful reporting style is difficult not to respond to....I had to tell myself to not watch.

However, I bought my new iPad for many reasons, but the camera was a big one.  I wanted to easily add the photo element to my FB postings and this page -- because we just expect photos with our media.  I enjoy other people's photos. 

So, here's my photo of the day -- fresh herbs from the garden to put into a tomato sauce I'm simmering on the stove.  Is this a harmless photo?

Rant on Verizon, and others

I just can't stand working with big companies -- I mean, who likes it?  And, they're all the same -- where is that awful manual that says you ask customers to spend and hour on the website, then force them to work really hard to find a phone number (often they have to google another source to find a company number); then get them on the phone and tell them they should look at the website where they've already spent the last hour....I mean, duh....

I don't care if you're a big business or small, do not tell me on your stupid recording to look at the website -- I was just there.

When you finally get a human the first thing you hear is that your conversation may be recorded for "training purposes."  What makes me not really believe that?  That's a whole lot of data for training.  No, what it is for is to spy on employees, and who knows, maybe other things as well.  I have to say, by the time you get to a human they are usually well-trained (OK, maybe the calls did help) and though pretty robotic, they seem to try to solve the problem.  If they can't, it's evident that their hands are tied.  

But then I really get fried when they tell me that there will be a follow up on their performance and they'd like a good score.  Well, I can't blame them, I'm sure their jobs are pretty dependent on these scores.  So, then within and hour or a day I get emails and robo-phone calls asking me to rate my service.  I'm not willing to do Verizon's job for them -- I already pay them way too much money, and now they want me to be the personnel manager too?  Why don't they listen to the millions of tapes THEMSELVES and rate the service?  Well....that would be too expensive, so why not do a robo-call to me and have me foot the bill?

I wish I could just opt-out of businesses that treat me this way....but then, where would this cheery little blog be?

My big triple events in a three week period are now over -- officially over as of last Friday.   I'm trying to figure out how to push the reset button, and how to find it.

I was a big waste Saturday and Sunday, but continued to mainline sugar because the stress was still pulsing through me.  I got on the computer and sent out lots of thank-you notes and links to video, and hoped that I could tie up loose ends quickly.  

But I'm still running to the computer to check for mail every five minutes.  My body is still running in this rushed mode, even though I'm telling myself that I can set my away message now.  Something tells me that this is the way I like to operate -- that I seek it.  

I also know that it's unhealthy and that I need to reign it all way in.  People are pouring on the praise for all the work I did, and I know that some of it is that they really want me to say I'll do it again.  But I can't -- I really do enjoy it, and I can do it where other people can't, but that doesn't mean I should.   

I could say, OK, next time I'll delegate more, I'll just not worry so much about details....all that stuff.  But, at age 60, I'm thinking that next time will be no different.   I'm sure there is a way to still participate, but not lead the whole thing.  I can just hear the persuasion starting....about how we'll give you more help, etc., but I'm going to have to hold firm.  

Maybe this kind of leading is like carbs to me....I crave them, they give me energy, but they hurt me in the long run?  Can I see the whole thing as just a big doughnut dripping with icing?

I'd like to do meaningful work without shouldering so much responsibility -- and have to communicate that.

When to kill little animals, when to save them

We are loving our growing menagerie of garden life, and after watching squirrels teeter on our tall birdbath to get a drink, we decided to put a water source lower to the ground.  This morning I found a mouse floating....

Mice in the house we kill, floating in the outside water that was there to help them, I mourn.  I'd feel a whole lot better just not killing them at all.....  I'm going to have to work on live trapping them inside.

So, I found some broken crockery and made a little island in the tub, and hope that will help the little ones..

I guess I need to break my own rule here a little and bring some Amnesty into this post.

I've been doing multiple things for several days with a colleague who came down with a terrible flu.  He was here from Oregon and he stayed at the conference hotel for a few days, but then he was staying extra and to save money planned to stay in a hostel.  I decided he better come to our house instead.

We had an appointment yesterday afternoon with a guy who is a human rights hero to both of us.  Andreas was in DC for work -- he lives in Jakarta.  I went to the appointment and though the details are amazing, they are not for this blog.

What I found interesting was Andreas's reaction when I said our friend was too sick to come, that he was at my house in bed.  Andreas said, well then, I need to go to your house.  It was his immediate solution -- he didn't spend any time working his way to that decision, and didn't ask me at all if that was OK with me...which of course it was, but it never occurred to me.  This was totally dinner time, but obviously food was of no matter ...he needed to make the meeting happen.

For so much of my life, and probably still, I would have thrown all kinds of Western manners in here, and they would have stopped me from making the move Andreas did so naturally.  He knew what was important.

We're part of a small community and we both wanted to meet Andreas so much...and he knew of us and wanted to meet us as well.  So, at 5PM we got in my car.  I called Doug to wake up my friend and tell him Andreas was on the way.  He was totally excited...said that when he knew I was leaving he kind of tried to crawl out of bed and tell me to take him.

I ordered some take-out dinner -- hadn't been home to cook or shop for days -- and we had a short but wonderful time together.  Doug, also my hero, was left alone for the weekend but charged into action when I called to say we'd be a temporary sick house.

I learned a lot from Andreas last night.

Aging

Though I don't want this blog to be about all my crazy Amnesty time, I do want to reflect on things I learn.  And, I have to give it to Amnesty in terms of keeping this sad old brain alive, that one of the appeals is the constant challenge and learning.

The new learning is fund raising.  I could tell from the reaction of other Amnesty folks that people kind of have an on/off switch when you mention fund raising, and for the most part, it's clearly off.  There is a certain reptile-brain look that comes over people when you suggest serious fund raising.  It's clearly fight or flight, with the later easily available since we're all volunteers, though there was some fight in there as well.

I'm certainly no different.  The idea of going up to strangers and asking for money is anathema to me.  I was the parent who bought the whole load of wrapping paper because I didn't want my daughters to hit up neighbors who probably knew the drill and would have been happy to oblige.  Something deep in me thinks it's tacky, and then there's the whole possibility...actually distinct probability...of repeated rejection.  Who would want to set themselves up for that?

But, I decided to go ahead and do this 5K race anyway, with the conscious decision that I'd need to work through fear.  It is an aspect of aging that failure is much less a concern and I have a good sense of when I've done my best despite results.  

Though the race hasn't been run yet, and any number of disasters could occur, the outlook is good, great even.  The hardest part, begging for money, has not been nearly as bad as I expected.  I think the reason is that the businesses I've approached are just that -- businesses -- and they have a different sense of money than I do.  They deal with the money part of their business every day and are experienced in making the decisions of who to give to, and what to give, as a normal part of their business.  

The first business that gave us a check, Casual Adventure, made it so easy.  I met the owner, fully expecting rejection, and he went to his office and wrote a check.  I was flabbergasted that anyone would do that.  My reaction has been a profound obligation to them in terms of publicizing their names as an expression of the gratitude I feel that they would support human rights.  I've also learned that folks do want to support the cause even in a small way and I could see it as a gift I'm bringing to them (but that will take a while).  

I would definitely do this again.  We need money to do this work and it's out there, and the experience has even risen to the level of fun for me.  

I'm the worst meditator in the world

I remember the part of Eat, Pray, Love where Gilbert is in India and tells the teacher that she just can't settle her mind in meditation, and the teacher is surprised saying he had never heard that before....she must be the only one!  

Now, I know it's difficult, but I swear, I can beat her any day in not clearing my mind.  

I've been doing the Oprah-Deepak 21-day meditation.  Our yoga teacher, Jackie, mentioned it in class I thought...why not give it a try.  I get my headphones, settle with the iPad, and each day there's a new topic and meditation.  Deepak and Oprah together definitely know what they're doing on this kind of product -- limiting the days, making it easy, making it quick for our fast-paced world, but still it's meditation and is soooo hard.  

I remember when Doug and I first did Transcendental Meditation -- back in the '70s in Boulder -- we would meditate twice a day for 20 minutes.  We were fairly disciplined and I do recall that it got easier. But these meditations are very short, and in the middle I find myself just waiting for the bell-ring.  Ah...

Critters among us

Late at night, in the basement working....I have Neko with me, and at least two mice.  I certainly have mixed feelings about the little critters -- cute, deserve to live...outside.  I stood still with a nice container and a baby came virtually to my feet, but was way too fast.  Sometimes Doug and together can get them and take them out, and Neko can kind of stun them so we grab them and get them out.  Such a dilemma, but I do believe we have a family starting down here.  And since we still have most of the Fredericksburg house stuffed on this floor, there are endless hiding places.  

I swear, there was just a noise over my head...maybe in the ceiling.  Ugg, we're invaded.  There's a story of a woman on our street who basically had to move because she couldn't get rid of mice.  Well, I don't mind living with a few, but also don't want them to feel at home.

Last night we had Kate, Emily and Rob over for an early birthday for Doug -- he's officially the 21st.

His request was corned beef and cabbage, which I made with a bottle of Rob's beer in the crock pot. The corned beef usually comes with a seasoning packet, but this one didn't. A quick google search produced many options, but we decided to throw in:  garlic, mustard seed, black pepper corns, whole cloves, and a big pinch of hot red pepper flakes.  I also spread yellow mustard over the meat.  I meant to put in bay leaves but forgot. The result was great nevertheless.

The photo shows my Whole Foods impulse buys -- my list was very small, just including a few things for Doug's dinner.

But, the lettuce reminded me that this really is a good time to plant a few things.  Usually I grow lettuce from seed, but when I've bought it started in flats the result has always been great.

Why is the lettuce on the table?  Well, we have snow flurries today, and though I know lettuce is hardy, I decided to help it out a little and bring it in for the evening.

The kids got Doug a hummingbird feeder and stand for his birthday.  I had always heard that you should get the feeders out early in the spring for when they migrate back to the area and are hungry.  We made the sugar syrup and put it out immediately...but the syrup probably froze overnight...Hope the little guys find the feeder.

Our water pressure has seemed to be going down, particularly in the shower...you basically have to weave to get drops to fall on you.  I suggested a plummer, but it's not an immediate emergency.

So here it is, close to midnight, and I step into...an amazing shower.  While I was out at a happy hour tonight, Doug put in a whole new shower head...and it's amazing, and the water surges out and it felt like a massage (but it's not one of those pulse things...they're annoying).

And, so typical...when I got home we just chatted..he never mentioned his little (well, big to me) project...he's so willing to wait for little surprises he won't even be there to see (he was way asleep by the time I hit the water).

Thanks, Doug...pretty amazing.  Xxoo

I spent yesterday in an applique class -- it was such a nice break from constant worrying about upcoming events.

I've always been afraid of applique -- seemed too exact a technique for me.  But the teacher, Kay, was great.  By the end I feel that I can certainly add a basic applique to a quilt border, or even tackle something with a basic applique component.  I don't have the decades of practice, but am glad to learn a new trick.

This is the design I'm working on -- has lots of key elements -- stems, circles, points, layering...probably more than that.

Kay did this one -- yesterday I finished stems, a few leaves, and then worked on circle techniques.

Oh my goodness, I'm back

So, I've missed writing and thinking and sharing....to my whole 4 followers.  From time to time I've gone back to this blog to look things up and every time I do I think....why did I just stop?

I can tell from the time stamp that Amnesty probably stopped me.  Good work, but not a good idea.

Upon my return I also feel that this will be my life-outside-Amnesty place, and part of me fears it will be empty.  Where is my quilting, my reading, my cooking?  It needs to come back here.

Today's announcement is that we've joined a CSA for the season -- beginning in June.

It's called Groundworks Farm and here's a pic of some seedlings they've just started.

My goodness it looks like a lot of work -- they're just starting up this season after moving here from Vermont.  The farmer's mom lives in our neighborhood and put up a note in the Ashton Heights listserv about the farm, and also mentioned that her house will be the weekly drop-off site for Arlington.  Wow -- those moms never stop, do they?

We just went ahead and did the whole deal -- veggies, of course, but also cheese, eggs, chicken, and meats.  I know it will be a real challenge to use everything, and I hope to pass things to the girls as well.

Surely this space will keep up with my farm goodies.

I just finished this book -- really -- I have to put it on the top 5 books I've ever read, and I've read a lot of books. The narration was interesting, moving from part to part under the heading of a character's name, and going from first to third person in a way I couldn't quite figure out. The plot involves the three Proctor brothers working the crumbling family dairy farm in upstate New York, and it goes back to the 1930s to meet the parents as well. The sections switch back and forth in time, and the large picture only gradually emerges. Even though it's been a long time since I read Faulkner, this novel felt like parts of The Sound and the Fury. Clinch also wrote the novel, Finn, about Huck's father, and I'm going to order that one right now from the library.